


Breakeven

by snowphoenix



Category: GOT7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 23:52:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5646331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowphoenix/pseuds/snowphoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off the lyrics of the song six degrees of separation</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breakeven

“What am I supposed to do, when the best part me was always you?”

Jaebum wasn’t very sure when it all started to happen, when the cracks started forming in his and Jinyoung’s friendship. He realizes after he finds out that he hasn’t spoken to jinyoung personally for more than 2 weeks now, a far cry from the past where he would feel weird without talking to him after more than 2 hours. But he is busy, oh so busy, with everything in his life, with his leader duties and his need to constantly improve, that he just keeps forgetting.  
And with that, Park Jinyoung becomes a forgotten thought, a forgotten friend, a forgotten memory with layers and layers of dust on top and fading to a melancholic grey.  
All this while, Jinyoung has been doing nothing but observing Jaebum, and realizing that perhaps, their friendship might not be able to be salvaged anymore. He tries to ignore that sinking feeling in his heart, and why his stomach drops all the way till he can’t feel it anymore. He isn’t the type to force others to tell him what’s wrong, and each day, Jaebum drifts further and further. Like a ship that is setting sail for another dock, and never planning to return.

“And what am I supposed to say when I’m all choked up and you’re ok?”  
Jinyoung continues to try to fill the gaping hole in his heart, by busying himself in different activities and dancing and singing to get his mind off Jaebum. He knows that he’s over-stressing himself and that his body is likely to give up on him, but he couldn’t care less. “If only you knew, Jaebum-hyung, if only you knew” he tells himself. The rest slowly start to observe the change in him, and try to dissuade him from practicing so hard and pushing his body to the limits. But he doesn’t care, because none of them are Jaebum.  
Jaebum takes care of Youngjae, ignores Jackson and Bambam because they are simply too noisy and any more attention would just make them worse, talks to Mark and helps Yugyeom with anything that he needs. But he doesn’t worry about Jinyoung, because he thinks that the other is perfectly alright, being the quietest and the one with the least crazy antics. But he doesn’t understand why he feels a little gnawing feeling in his heart, and the small voice in his brain that tells him he misses Jinyoung. He falls asleep that night with a frown on his face, and his mind in overdrive.

“I’m falling to pieces”  
Jaebum feels particularly stressed, with the dance practice having gone horribly and the dance instructor having scolded and pushed them until their bodies really could not take it anymore. He still had his various leader duties to do, and he needed an outlet to vent before he blew up and exploded at someone. “Jinyoung”, he whispers. He knows that the rest would not really understand, because they were too young and did not know Jaebum at the back of their palms and the tips of their fingers like Jinyoung did.  
He knocks at Jinyoung’s room, and Jinyoung tells him to come in. He enters, noticing that Jinyoung is reading a new novel. But to his surprise, Jinyoung hides the book and he can’t see the title. It’s the first time that Jinyoung had done that, and Jaebum feels a little awkward. The awkwardness and tension between them in the room is tense and palpable, and it is only then when Jaebum realizes that he hadn’t spoken to Jinyoung in a really, really, really, long time. He sits next to Jinyoung and opens his mouth. Everything comes tumbling out, all of his worries, stresses, and vents. Jinyoung just listens to him and runs his fingers through his hair. He feels much better afterwards, even if Jinyoung didn’t say anything, when he notices a strange expression on Jinyoung’s face. Jaebum likes to tell himself that he knows jinyoung the best, can figure out when he’s upset or happy or delighted or hungry or grumpy or in one his moods even though Jinyoung doesn’t outwardly express it. But this time, he can’t decipher the emotion. He feels like there is a wall between both of them, and he wonders when it ever became this way.  
And then Jinyoung yawns and Jaebum realizes that it is extremely late. He tucks Jinyoung in (again, how long had it been since he last did this to Jinyoung?) and leaves with a quiet goodnight. Unbeknownst to him, Jinyoung starts crying, muffled as he stuffs his face into the pillow. 

“I’m still alive but barely breathing”  
Jinyoung wakes up the next day with huge, red and puffy swollen eyes. He can’t hide it from the rest, and just lies to them that he had rubbed his eyes and they were very dry as a result. It was clear that the rest didn’t believe him, but the extra gaze from Jaebum made him feel like crying all over again.  
He is even more quiet and withdrawn than usual, barely speaking and only sticking to Mark. Jaebum feels another unexplainable feeling in his chest, because wasn’t he the one whom jinyoung always stuck by whenever he was in one of his grumpy moods? And he started wondering when that had changed.

**Author's Note:**

> Might or might not continue this fic with more chapters based on other songs! the chapters might/might not be linked; comments will be loved! first time ever writing a got7 fic so....I hope it's good!(or maybe not ahhah)


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